do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
