hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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