theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
should my penis look like a turkey
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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