Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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