I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
