Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
