He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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