He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
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I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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