Me too!
where am i from again
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
