one might say we're banned from that church
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
