Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
