I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
