if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
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