We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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