You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
