it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
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so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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