all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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