just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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