You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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