I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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