i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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