I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize