So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
