shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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