just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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