he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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