did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
