On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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