when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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