i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
COCAINE IS GR8
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
