oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
