Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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