Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
