There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Randomize
