How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
