He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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