Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
