You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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