Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
