i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
