how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
