U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
