she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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