Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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