That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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