I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When did angry sex become our thing?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
