If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
third nipple confirmed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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