dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
