I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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