Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
