I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize