he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
