i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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