The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
