just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Duck Duck Cougar?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
