i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
